Our Fertility Update

I realize it has been a while since I have mentioned anything about our #journeytobabybatz (or even posted on HHT).  It’s not because I’m nervous to share its just that not much has been happening.  Because if I were to be completely honest I would tell you that I don’t really LOVE doing updates like these.  Is anyone making me write this?  No.  But I believe that sharing stories are important even if they aren’t picture perfect and full of struggle.  I mean, aren’t those stories the ones that make you never want to put down a book! I figured now was a good time as any to share what’s been going on in our little barren-womb world because its National Infertility Awareness Week.

For the background of our journey to grow our family visit this page for the indepth analysis! I’ll keep it updated as our journey moves forward.

There is a reason why I’m not in love with writing this post and its because as far as pregnancy goes I have no news.  No baby growing in my womb.  The wait continues.  God has continued to spoil us with peace and love and support from friends and family through this journey.  He has continued to comfort us and speak to us through the waiting, which is amazing.  But to be honest all it doesn’t diminish the longing to be parents NOW (okay let’s be honest, 4 years ago when I really wanted kiddos!).  To have a beautiful baby in our home waking us up in the middle of the night to feed and learn its personality one day at a time.   To experience the nausea of the first trimester, the out growing of clothes in the second and the waddle in the third.  Those longings don’t go away.  God placed this desire in our hearts long before we even knew each other. The time that passes doesn’t lessen the longing, it makes it stronger.

SO WHAT’S NEXT FOR US?

We prayed about what step to take next and God told us to fight for fertility! So that’s exactly what we are doing.  We are taking a step towards baby with an IUI (intrauterine insemination).  A year ago I would have never thought of choosing this route but this is the path that God has us on.  He explicitly told me to pick a fight with my infertility so that is what I’m doing.  I’m declaring myself fertile and fruitful because that is who I am as a child of God.

Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:5

I don’t put my hope it growing our family in our Doctors or the medication.  We put all our hope in Christ for all He did for us and is still doing. God is the only one who can give life and now I realize that more than ever.  We are hopeful and expectant that the Lord will bring life to my womb.  We will not give up on our dream to become parents. We are walking into another year of believing in breakthrough and a miracle that only God can accomplish. It’s another year of surrendering our fertility journey to the Lord, admitting that we can do nothing and he can do everything.

And so, no pregnancy announcement even though I so badly wish this was it! That this was the month I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am a mother and share a positive pregnancy test photo.  But as I have figured out over the years, I don’t always get what I want.  Life doesn’t look like what I want it to.  But this doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of sweet, even in the bitter. And that’s okay.  Because God is still good in the waiting.  In this holy wait.

My hope is that my next update will sound nothing like this.  My hope is that we won’t have to wait another 3 years (heck, even 3 months!) to know what it’s like to become pregnant.  My hope is someday soon we will be celebrating a miracle. My hope is that we look back on our journey, months or years down the road, and be able to see how God wove our story perfectly not only for our good but ultimately for his glory.

Thank you for everyone who has been on this journey with us.  We appreciate your support more than you can imagine.  Thank you to those who haven’t tried to fix our situation but have instead offered love. Thank you to those who pray for us, we truly believe every prayer matters.  Thank you to those who listen to our broken hearts and comfort us with their presence.  You all matter so much to us.

So folks, get ready for a lot more fertility focused and lifestyle posts my friends!

| Photos: Kelcie Crockett Photography |